The Grand Ol Snouter: Third Edition
A monthly circulation
Drive-through drama prompts warning
Alveridge East police are calling for stricter controls on the new fad for Trunkrider customising following a robbery yesterday evening. Staff at the Mega-steak drive-thru-n’get-stuffed were terrified when a modified Houndster Outward Boundster arrived at their service window.
Staff member Sharleen Portly described the incident. “The Trunkrider was full of hounds and they all looked as if they’d been on Wilks all night. “The pilot was grinning as his mate in the back picked up a big pipe and stuck it in the window. “At a given signal the pilot pressed a big lever forward and this loud sucking noise started. It was awful,” she said.
“There was cooked food, raw food, pies, sausages, eggs, bread, napkins and soft drinks flying out of the window and down this big pipe. “It was so strong I had to hold on to my ears. It even sucked the drool out of our apprentice, Kevin’s snout. He’s in therapy now,” she added.
According to Detective Sergeant Tubby McGutbucket the suction was due to a powerful vacuum driven by the Trunkrider’s engine.
“It produced a massive intake power through what appears to have been an industrial ducting pipe,” he explained. “The late model Outward Boundsters are fitted with a small duck-shooting hide and we believe this was where all the food went before the pair roared off, leaving rubber on the driveway. “I don’t want people to stop customising but it only takes one bad hound to spoil it for everyone,” he added. Police are now searching for a pair of fat hounds and wish to hear from anybody who has seen an Outward Boundster with racing slicks going through a car wash.